Metallic Pea

Frustrating People Since 1971.

Archive for June 2008

‘Possum Kingdom

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‘When a man opens a pit, or when a man digs a pit and does not cover it, and an ox or a donkey [or a ‘possum?] falls into it, the owner of the pit shall make restoration. He shall give money to its owner, and the dead beast shall be his.’  ~ Exodus 21:33, 34

 

I saw Jacob and Laura at church to-day which reminded me that 1) it has been quite a while since the Hayneses (does that look right?) last were in town and 2) I need to post the picture from my opossum adventure to pair with theirs

Now, imagine sticking your arm down into a trash can with the intention of bring back dog food–and only dog food–and being greeted with this:

 

I would like to end this post with a very important caveat: Not all ‘possums are bad.  Some (like the one below) are downright fantastic!

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Written by ninepoundhammer

June 29, 2008 at 4:39 pm

Posted in Silly

Tagged with ,

Those Fine Eight Beats

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‘Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing.’ ~ Luke 15:25

 

I left work early yesterday (that’s right, Kev: Comp Time!) and, at the end of an uneventful three-hour trek up Interstate 45, found myself at the doorstep of my in-laws, where the girls have been since Sunday evening.  Long drives tend to sap my energy so my first activity was little more than watching Gracie Mae swim with Manna (her grandmother) in the pool from the comfort of the pool chair (with a room temperature Shiner Bock close at hand).

Later that evening, we packed up the plantation and rallied at the Dallas Arboretum for their summer concert series featuring one of my favourites, Asleep at the Wheel.  I absolutely love their tightly-played and enthusiastically delivered brand of Western Swing, so I was in hog heaven as we sat on the sloped lawn eating homemade chicken salad sandwhiches (not as good as Marian’s!) and tipping back bottles of chilled Spaten and Heineken.  Good stuff.

In spite of the great show, I think my favourite part of the evening was during the encore as I held Gracie Mae on my shoulders and she clapped and laughed wildly to their rendition of ‘Cherokee Maiden‘.  It just doesn’t get much better than that.

(Jackson, are you paying attention?)

 

 

Written by ninepoundhammer

June 27, 2008 at 10:17 am

Meine Unterkleidung Ist Wunderbar!!

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‘They shall not make bald patches on their heads, nor shave off the edges of their beards, nor make any cuts on their body.’  ~ Leviticus 21:5

 

Good news!  The old crew chickens appear to be accepting the new chicks I introduced into the coop last week.  The latter have been able to negotiate the coop largely unmolested, though the larger birds tend to become aggressive whenever I enter to feed them.  (The get in such a fowl mood!)  I would love to post pictures (the Ameraucanas are absolutely beautiful) but the wife’s camera is behaving badly.  Stay tuned.

 

“I’ll meet you at the outdoor cafe.  (I’ll be wearing orange.)”  

 

 

  • By way of demonstrating how the biblical translation you employ can have a significant impact on your exegesis: Do you realise that the King James Version mentions unicorns?

 

 

 

  • South Korea currently ranks 12th in the world militarily, whereas North Korea is 18th. South Korea has twice as many men available to the military (24 million to 11 million) and roughly twice as many under arms (657,000 to 382,000). Economically the South ranks 13th in the world with a GDP of $982b (just above Australia), the North ranks 156th with $2b (just above Greenland). North Korea‘s gross national income was valued at $26.7 billion last year, with its per capita gross national income at $1,152, according to the Bank of Korea. By contrast, South Korea‘s $971 billion economy grew 5 percent last year, giving it a per capita income at $20,045.’  (So, remind me, why are we still in South Korea?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • As someone who would have lost my land to this New World Order boondoggle, I am very relieved to know that, in this instance anyway, the Powers That Be heeded the concerns of the little man.

 

 

 

  • Sedacca wrote that current financial-market conditions remind him of “someone standing on a lonely beach, armed with only a small bucket, trying to stop a rare tsunami that hits the shores. It is how I feel about our markets and the tools being utilized by the Federal Reserve, the European Central Bank and other regulatory bodies. They are overmatched for what they are facing and, worse yet, they helped create the mess in the first place by being far too easy with money and debt creation.”

 

 

 

  • By [current standards of] morality and logic, Germans at Nuremberg might have asserted a right to kill women and children because that is what the British were doing to [German] women and children.’

 

 

 

 

 

  • Maybe those folks in Taxachusetts aren’t so bad after all. A local school committee recently added Ron Paul’s book, ‘The Revolution: A Manifesto’ to its summer reading list.

To-day’s 1980’s Moment is brought to you by: Billy Joel 

Y Because We Like You

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‘I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with the rod of men, with floggings inflicted by men. But my love will never be taken away from him…’  ~ II Samuel 7:14-15a

 

The news has by now travelled far and wide but, for those yet unaware, I relish the opportunity to announce that we are expecting a son!  I can say in all sincerity that I would have been just as overjoyed to discover the next addition to our family lacked a Y chromosome; still, though I would have loved another daughter just as much, I feel a bit…different about our impending arrival.  

It is a near universal truth that men desire sons made in their image to carry forth the family name and legacy.  Admittedly, though I would have been overjoyed at the prospect of expanding our collection of pink accoutrement (and hope to again in the future, truth be told!) I am very much enamoured with the idea of welcoming Thomas Jackson into the fold.  He will be called Jackson, after one of my Christian–and Southern–heroes.  My prayer is that he will grow to be a godly man and not take after his father in all of the bad ways.

It is difficult to fathom an additional member around the family hearth; yet, as I recall, I had similar troubles coalescing my thoughts around Gracie Mae.  However, knowing the joy she has brought to our lives, I have every reason to look forward to November.  The ‘New Normal’ as the Andersons describe it.

Fatherhood is much like having a wolf by the ears; it is both exhilarating and utterly frightening.  And one heck of a ride!

 

People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one.
And we’ve just begun, think I’m gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove,
conceived in love, the sun is gonna shine above.

And even though we ain’t got money,
I’m so in love with you honey,
Everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the mornin’ when I rise,
you bring a tear of joy to my eyes
and tell me, everything, is gonna be alright.  ~ Kenny Loggins, Danny’s Song

 

 

  • It seems that a former College Station city councilman made it big—he was featured in the ‘Headlines’ portion of the To-night Show with Jay Leno.

 

 

 

  • DO NOT BE DECEIVED: CO2 and water vapour are NOT poisoning our atmosphere nor causing global warming! Those saying so are pushing Junk Science.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To-day’s 1980’s Moment is brought to you by: Europe

 

Buy, Oh Fool

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‘The LORD their God is with them, and the shout of a king is among them.’  ~ Numbers 23:21b

 

  • My friends and family will be pleased to discover that the anniversary present my lovely wife gave me the other day displays both her thoughtfulness and her utilitarian mindedness—she gave me ‘Grilling for Dummies.’ (Hopefully, this means no more ‘blackened’ chicken.)

 

 

 

  • Albert Jay Nock wrote, “The only element in Judean society that was particularly worth bothering about was the Remnant. Isaiah seems finally to have got it through his head that if anything substantial were ever to be done in Judea, the Remnant would have to do it. This is a very striking and suggestive idea; but before going on to explore it, we need to be quite clear about our terms. What do we mean by the masses, and what by the Remnant?”’

 

 

 

Doc Holliday: ‘And you must be Ringo. Look, Darling, Johnny Ringo. The Deadliest pistolier since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darling? Should I hate him?’

 

Big Nose Kate: ‘You don’t even know him.’

 

Doc: ‘Yes, but there’s just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don’t know, reminds me of… me. No. I’m sure of it, I hate him.’ ~ Tombstone

 

 

 

  • As farmers plant more corn to in order to take advantage of federal subsidies, they use more land, fertilizer and water, pushing up the prices of all other crops up as well. The government corruption of market prices signals – starting with corn subsidies – fans out through the economy, resulting in yet another terrible misallocation of resources. Corn is grown to burn as destitute peasants on the other side of the world starve to death. And why? Because powerful politicians pander to special interest groups that stand to reap huge benefits at the expense of the rest of us.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Oh, Cana-duh! A prepubescent Quebecois has succeeded in having a judge overturn her father’s grounding of her from using the Internet. Parents in Canada beware—you’re country is crazy!

 

 

 

No. You know, I know, everybody watching this show knows that four years from today, whichever of them is elected, government will be bigger, more expensive, more obtrusive, and more oppressive. If you vote Republican or Democrat, you are giving up. You’re saying ‘I’m never going to be free. America will never be a free country again. I will never get smaller government. So I’m just going to vote for the one I think will take me to hell at the slowest-possible rate. ~ Harry Browne

 

To-day’s 1980’s Moment is brought to you by: Ferris Bueller (and the Beatles):

 

Written by ninepoundhammer

June 21, 2008 at 7:02 am

Britches Full of Hay

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‘Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright.’  ~ Proverbs 20:11

 

[Mea Culpa: Jon, I realise this is a long post but I just can’t help myself!]

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: The English Shin Kicking Championships

 

 

 

  • If my chickens will only lay eggs like this, I could retire in no time flat!

 

 

 

  • The Royal Bank of Scotland has advised clients to brace for a full-fledged crash in global stock and credit markets over the next three months as inflation paralyses the major central banks.’

 

 

 

  • Did you hear the one about the man who goes to buy a car in Moscow, pays for it, and is told by the salesman that he can collect it on a particular date in 10 years’ time. The buyer thinks for a moment and then asks: ‘Morning or afternoon?’ The salesman, astonished by the question, asks: ‘What difference does it make?’ And the buyer answers: ‘Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.’

 

 

 

  • A ‘RAND Corp. study, “Invisible Wounds of War — Psychological and Cognitive Injuries, Their Consequences, and Services to Assist Recovery,” justifies a tenfold jump in the U.S. casualty count versus the figure of 33,000 American dead and wounded used by the Pentagon.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • They say that the Internet was invented (or at least, conceived) in 1934. Yet, Al Gore was not born until 1948. I’m confused.

 

 

 

  • Will the Church stand in the breach and yell ‘HALT!’? Or, as in the past, will she allow the State to dictate how we shall practise our faith?  Sooner or later we will all be faced with a choice. We will be forced to stand and be counted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • It’s pretty rapidly running out of gas and it just seems like every day more and more people are coming out with the fact that [global warming is] pretty much a hoax. And these are Ph.D climatologists that are pretty much saying what I said all along.’

 

 

 

  • I remember my daddy trying the cloth diaper route years ago. (OK, I actually remember my daddy telling me about it.) It has its benefits but drawbacks are part of the deal, too. However, if you are so inclined, here is how to make your own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Iranian scientists claim breakthroughs in nanotechnology, biological researchers are pushing the boundaries of stem cell research and the country’s car industry produces more cars than anywhere else in the region.’

 

 

 

  • Good news for those who love war and can’t get enough of it—the GWOT© is coming to Pakistan!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Hue! (Destroying the City to Save It)

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‘May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb.’  ~ Deuteronomy 32:2  

 

 

 

  • By leaving the children in the public schools, where they will be taught—starting in kindergarten—that Christian morality is wrong, the SBC has pulled its own teeth.  What are children to think, when their church and their parents say “gay marriage” is wrong, yet leave them in schools where they are taught “gay marriage” is right? If Christian teachings are supposed to be authoritative, are not the schools in the wrong for teaching the opposite? But if the schools are wrong, will not the children eventually have to ask, “Then what are we doing here?” 

 

  • How is it that the first drink [of beer] from a tankard tastes best? Perhaps it’s on account of sin, because our flesh and our lips are sinful.  ~ Martin Luther

 

 

 

  • ‘Hello Al Gore; Hello UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.  Your science is flawed; your hypothesis is wrong; your data is manipulated.  And, may I add, your scare tactics are deplorable.  The Earth does not have a fever.  Carbon dioxide does not cause significant global warming.’  ~ John Coleman, Creator of The Weather Channel 

 

 

 

To-day’s 1980’s Moment is brought to you by: The Honeydrippers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Is this book better than Oz, Narnia, Tolkien, and Alice in Wonderland?

 

 

 

  • NEITHER HERE NOR THERE:  Nothing mitigates the tedium of a Monday workday quite like the cool that is Steely Dan oozing from my headphones.

 

 

 

  • ‘Has it come then to this, that the chaste spouse of Christ is reduced to borrow the meretricious adornment of the “scarlet whore,” in order to catch the unholy admiration of the ungodly?’  ~  Rev. Robert L. Dabney on the church and culture.

 

 

 

  • As the U.S. Government continues ‘God’s Work’ in the Middle East, Iraqi Christians, who once thrived there, continue to be martyred and persecuted. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • The man who played Forrest Gump as a child recently completed his enlistment in the Army—after having served a tour in Iraq. 

 

 

 

  • I’ll bet you didn’t hear much—if anything at all—about this story in the Lamestream Media.